Saint Francis Xavier and the Goa Inquisition

This is a response to hindutva propagandists who have been spreading lies about St. Francis Xavier claiming he could not convert Konkani brahmins through his preaching so he resorted to forcibly torturing them to get them to convert to Christianity using the Goa Inquisition. The main source cited by these propagandists is a letter from Francis Xavier to king John III of Portugal, but before I get into the letter, I want to lay some context for the unacquainted reader:

1. Christianity is a 2000 year old missionary religion. Jesus taught his disciples to "go into the whole world and proclaim the good news to all creation" [Mark 16:15] and "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" [Matthew 28:19]. From the very beginning the Gospel or Good news has been proclaimed inviting repentance and conversion with baptism.
2. For the first 15 centuries, Christians were mostly united and there was no need to clarify the Church which Jesus Christ founded, but that changed with the reformation by Martin Luther. The word Catholic means Universal and become a way to denote those who remained with the Apostolic Church after the protestant reformation in 1500s. But the first recorded usage of the word Catholic dates back to the first century A.D in a letter by Bishop of Antioch to the Smyrnaens (people of Smyrna). Both Antioch and Smyrna are located in modern day Turkey.
3. St. Francis Xavier was Spanish, and worked as a missionary in Goa, a Portuguese province. Among Spain and Portugal, the concept of Inquisition originated during the Muslim occupation of Iberian peninsula after the conquest of Tariq ibn Ziyad, who defeated the Visigothic king Roderic in the battle of Guadalete in 711 AD and they remained in Spain for centuries, finally driven out in 1492. There is a tremendous amount of history here which I would argue is more enjoyable than movies and shows on Netflix and other streaming platforms or in theatres. For more information on the historic events during this period, including the birth of Portugal, research the Spanish Reconquista on history channels and source materials of the same. More on the Inquisition in point 7.
4. Spain + Portugal = Iberia. Portugal did not exist for a thousand years of Christian history. The peninsula was called Iberia in ancient times. During the Christian era it comprised of different kingdoms (Castille, Aragon and Navarre) later united into Spain. In 1143, Portugal  (blue region in map) was formed out of the Western part of then Spain. Both Spain and Portugal developed maritime technology - ships and navigation with a desire to reach the hitherto unknown parts of the world and spread Christianity there.
   
5. Catholic today = traditional Christian. In the english speaking Western world - USA, UK, most churches belong to Bible based offshoot movement of Christianity which has given birth to thousands of denominations. Historically Luther was the fountainhead of the reformation which began the splitting of Christianity into thousands of denominations. The countries we focus on here - Spain and Portugal remained with the historical Church from the time of Jesus Christ, called the Catholic Church. The reason this is important is because from an Indian context, the most influential country is the UK and the British monarchy through the East India Company ruled the Indian subcontinent from the battle of Plassey 1757 to 1947 - roughly 190 years. The city of Bangalore where I live for example was a key British centre and so were cities like Kolkata, Chennai and Mumbai. The British also built the large network of rail routes across the country to effectively transport goods/people mainly for economic gain. The British royal family today are successors of king Henry VIII who severed ties with the Catholic church so that he could marry Anne Boleyn. The Pope (head of the Catholic Church) denied his request for annulment of his first wife, Queen Catherine of Aragon. Henry VIII founded the Anglican church in 1534.
6. In Indian context, Portugal is important because they occupied Goa. More about how and why later. Spain and Portugal both pioneered discovery of distant lands and they had an agreement dividing the world into kingdoms which the Spanish and Portuguese would explore, conquer and colonise. The Spanish crown sent Hernan Cortez and Christopher Columbus thereby claiming Latin America and the Portuguese later brought parts of South America under their influence. On the other hand the Portuguese under the explorers Bartolmeu Dias and Pedra Alvares Cabral ventured around the the coast of Africa and rounded the Cape of Good Hope. It was the famous explorer Vasco da Gama followed by Alfonso de Albuquerque and Francisco de Almeida who first established Portuguese presence in Goa and Cochin. Besides India the Portuguese and Spanish brought parts of Indonesia, Philippines and Japan under their influence. Other major European naval powers in an Indian context are the British, French and Dutch.
7. Started in 1478 in mainland Spain, the Spanish Inquisition was imposed as an enquiry on Christians who had converted from Islam and Judaism reported to be going back to their former religious practices. As a result of this inquisition people fled to Portugal so Portugal started their own Inquisition in 1536. The key point to note with both these Inquisitions is that they were applied on Christians to ensure they were faithful to the faith that they officially professed.
8. St. Francis Xavier, besides working as a Christian missionary in Goa, also worked as a missionary in Indonesian islands of Maluku and Ternate, Japan and off-shore China. St. Francis Xavier was not an ordinary priest, but had the very important position of Apostolic Nuncio. Nuncio is an official representative of the Universal Catholic Church of Rome in a territory or country. St. Francis Xavier was at the position of an Ambassador in todays language in all these lands mentioned above. In his role as Nuncio, he wrote a number of letters to the Pope and monarchs of countries like Spain and Portugal in whole colonies he worked.

Now, let's look at the paragraph in the actual letter from St. Francis Xavier regarding the request for the Inquisition.

Date: 16th May, 1546

To: King John III of Portugal

The second necessity for the Christians is that your majesty establish the holy Inquisition because there are many who live according to the Jewish law and according to the Mohammedan law without any fear of God or shame of the world. And since there are many who are spread around the fortresses, there is a need of the holy Inquisition and of many preachers.

This is the only letter of St. Francis Xavier where the Inquisition was requested.

1. Firstly note that the focus of the letter is not any other religious group but the Christians "second necessity for the Christians". Ostensibly these were converts to Christianity based on point 2 below.
2. Secondly, the examples cited are of those Christians who are practising Jewish/Muslim law and way of life. Notice that nothing is mentioned about Brahmins or Hindus. Not directly and not even an indirect reference made using words like heathen/pagan.
3. The most astounding aspect of this letter is the place from where it was written. As mentioned already, St. Francis Xavier was a Spanish missionary working besides Goa in islands of Indonesia, Japan and off-shore China. The letter was written from the fort of Amboina (picture below) in the island Maluku of Indonesia. The word fortresses mentioned in this letter give us a clue of where it was written from. Therefore the letter was not written from any part of India but from an Indonesian island.
   
4. The word Indonesia means islands of India. This is how these Portuguese colonies were addressed during that period. But the only Portuguese colony in present day India is Goa and there is a huge distance between Goa and Amboina. One needs to travel from the Arabian Sea, thousands of kilometres across the Indian Ocean to reach this Maluku island of the Indonesian archipelago.
5. As mentioned in the first point in the Context section, Christianity is a missionary religion and has been so since the very beginning. In the very beginning of the book of Acts in chapter 2, the apostle Peter preaches and 3000 are added to the number of Christians. St. Paul made 4 missionary journeys the last which ended with his beheading in Rome. The missionary nature of Christianity is not a changing phenomenon based on historical and political situation. Rather it comes from one of the most important command of Jesus Christ, based on its location at the very end of the Gospel of Matthew and Mark. It is one of the last recorded command of Jesus in the Gospels.
6. For the first 300 years Christianity underwent severe persecution - worship was forbidden so Christians worshipped in tombs called catacombs and early Christians were crucified, burned, beheaded, thrown to lions and subjected to every conceivable torture and execution. There was no temporal benefit but every possible suffering and danger for those early Christians and the same is true even today. My ancestors faced severe persecution under Tipu Sultan the "tiger of Mysore", having their ears and nose cut off and marched hundreds of kilometres given a choice to apostatise and if they refused thrown down from a steep precipice to their deaths. More recently, several missionaries were killed in India instigated by right wing hindutva elements - Graham Staines and his 2 sons aged 10 and 6, Sister Rani Maria, several Christians in Kandhamal, Odisha; and just over a year ago Manipur Christians, who still are suffering totally ignored by the right wing government in the state and center.

Understanding these points it becomes clear the depth of lies and propaganda from the hindutva elements. There is nothing new about hatred of Christianity and propaganda against the Holy Catholic(Universal) Faith. The mockery of Jesus Christ and the Apostles at the ongoing Paris Olymipics in a disgusting Last Supper drag performance is just the latest in the long list. What is needed is a dispassionate objective investigation of the facts and true history in the face of those who work feverishly to rewrite a false version for the consumption of unassuming public.

Are all women better than their husbands?

Recently I heard a male preacher saying "all women are better than their husbands". A minute later the same preacher said "My wife is better than me in some areas" and "I'm better than my wife in some areas". This got me thinking about the this statement. As a Catholic, my mind immediately went to the Holy Family, where Mary was certainly better than St. Joseph because she was conceived immaculate in her mother's womb. Mary was without sin is considered the greatest of the human race. In support of his statement the preacher named 3 couples where he said this is true.

I then applied logic to this and the preachers logic seems to be that of all married couples he has encountered in every case the woman was better than her husband. This preacher has probably not encountered every couple alive today and even if he did, he couldn't have encountered couples in the past. Even in case of the couples alive today, it seems that the judgment criteria cannot be perfect because the judge is a human who has limitations. The fact that mankind has been continuously making scientific discoveries and our knowledge is improving over the years is a testament to the fact that we are not perfect.

Biologically, men and women's brains are different. The areas for violence and sex are larger in men's brains and in women's brains the chemicals that control these are more. Therefore in non-violence women are biologically better equipped than men. This seems to suggest that women are better at avoiding conflict and maintaining peace. But biology is not the only indicator of behaviour if it were then we would not be free to choose our actions. But we can act against our impulses. Someone who feels the urge to act violently can control, overcome and channel this impulse in a non-violent direction. If this was not possible, there would be no sin in violating the sixth commandment. Even outside Christianity most people agree in agency and role of the will. Because people have free will, they are responsible for their actions. Even determinists who believe in fate and/or predestination would have difficulty explaining why we have civil laws as guidelines of behaviour. The purpose of any kind of laws is to educate, inform and guide people to act in ways to keep the laws and avoid contravening them. This comes with the implict assumption that people have the capacity to overcome their undesirable impulses.

If the preacher's statement on the superiority of women implies that women are superior in every aspect, applicable to all couples alive today, we can think of a practical, empirical challenge to this assertion - world records. Most physical world records are held by men. In case of these world record holders for example, unless none of them are married, at least the man's wife is unlikely to be better than him in the world record category. Usain Bolt's would probably beat his wife at the 100 meter sprint. Eliud Kipchoge would likely lag behind him if they competed in a marathon together.

Circling back to the biological difference in the brain capacity for violence and sex, the Bible command to men to love their wives as Christ loved the Church calls men to channel their energy to battle their own passions and deny themselves as Christ denied himself. The ultimate call and test of manhood I believe is the readiness to sacrifice oneself. Along with tendency to violence comes the willingness to take risks. In every society, it is men who are expected to take risks to defend their family. Men perform tasks which involves serious risk of bodily harm and injury.

The Christian command challenges men to a sacrificial love which should lead us to break our bodies and shed our blood daily in love of our spouses and for our children. It's not how hard you hit, but how hard you can get and keep moving forward, says Rocky. The greatest man fought and defeated the greatest enemy - Satan.  Jesus Christ in doing this conquered mankind's greatest adversary and is the perfect example for us men. Following this example, the Apostles, martyrs and Saints gladly gave up their lives to show that this can be practically lived out by mortals.

We have discussed examples of couples where women are superior to men and found areas where men are better than their wives. We have looked at biological and empirical angles to this question. Overall it seems that among married couples, women are better than their husbands in some areas and men are better than their wives in others. So what is the takeaway from this?

"Men, love your wives" and "women, submit to your husbands" says the Bible. Today with the prevalence of Feminism especially in Western and Christian communities, the desire to reverse male violence can take us to the other extreme of mindlessly comparing and increasing the rift between men and women. I think we in Christendom need to be aware of the origins and effects of radical Feminism. Carrie Gress's book "The End of Woman: How smashing the patriarchy has destroyed us" talks about some of these but a fuller discussion in this article would be both premature and unjust, because I have not yet completed my reading of the book and there is so much to share on these points that I couldn't possibly do justice to it in this article.

For now, I like to conclude by saying that God who created both man and woman created us equal in dignity and partners and collaborators in building the family, the basic building block of society and the microcosmic church. Both men and women are created in the image and likeness of God and called to allow Him to perfect us through the grace of Sacramental marriage and help each other reach heaven, our destination. Not only the partners but also children entrusted to our care. As couples decisions should be made through discussion and dialogue between spouses. Each of the Biblical commands to men and women should be taken by the same sex and not thrust on the opposite sex.

Thinking with your heart

As a rational, analytical person, I tend to focus on the logical and rational. Professionally, this makes sense because as a programmer and solution architect, the proof of your solution is whether it works - whether it solves the problem. You have to objective enough considering the environment your solution is going to run under - whether it takes into consideration all dimensions of the problem and achieves its objective. In the realm of ideas and philosophies go, rational and logical consistency is one of the chief criteria to know whether something is true or helpful. Practically, though, we accept lots of ideas and philosophies based on the authority of those who told them to us. For example, as a father, I observe my children get their ideas from their parents and teachers.

While logic is good and helpful; even an intellectual, constantly thinking person tends to make slow and gradual progress in the advancement of ideas. In mapping our physical environment, I feel we need an orientation to prioritise which ideas are more important than others. Furthermore, as humans, we must be in touch with our own thoughts and desires. We need to orient our mind and will to the purification of our thoughts and desires. If we don't do this, we end up chasing one thing after another, we are constantly going in circles of useless pursuit. We are therefore, never really improving our peace of mind and our search for happiness is like a dog spinning in circles trying to grab its tail. This is why I think philosophy of life is crucial.

Modern society as I see it, suffers from a disordered philosophy of pursuing fleeting joys. Today medicine has advanced leaps and bounds over previous generations. Technology has enabled unprecedented quality of life in terms of making many previously difficult talks easier. Nevertheless, this century is known for depression. While these advancements should have improved our quality of life, statistics show that we are not much happier than our previous generations. This happens, in my opinion as a result of a philosophy of life that falls woefully short.

India has a long tradition of the guru or teacher. A person with wisdom whom people listen to with the hope to advance their life philosophy and hopefully help themselves live more fuller and happier lives. Today, we have no dearth of gurus and teachers, with their bands of followers. Self-proclaimed god-men among them, propound their teachings, through technology, reaching people near and far.

“Merely having an open mind is nothing. The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.” ― G. K. Chesterton.

A pearl of wisdom from a bygone era. With the plethora of religions, philosophies we have today from the past and present, there is a lot at stake and we need to apply critical thinking and reasoning to weigh ideas, thoughts and philosophies and decide and determine which we should buy into and which we should reject.

The title of this article, thinking with the heart, for me does not mean thinking with emotions. The classical ancient understanding of the heart is the core of the person. So thinking with the heart means thinking with the core of my being, not just my intellect. We want to look not just outward - our environment, the world around us, but also inward - our thoughts, desires, emotions and affections. Every great scientific theory, medical breakthrough and technological advancement has validating methodology and proving procedure to test and verify whether it works in the environment. In the same way, we need to have a proper framework to evaluate ideas so that they are validated both externally and internally, on our desires and emotions as well.

Take the relativisation of morality, religion, sexuality prevalent in our modern world. The media seems to suggest that our god is really ourselves. Each person can choose their own morality, religion and sexual orientation and preference. For the throngs of multitudes who have bought into this, there is a deception at work which makes the person blind to the danger and error of this philosophy.

Observe from a heart thinking standpoint ( core being thinking - not just emotional ), a person who is asked about the death penalty for instance. The question is really about justice and mercy. Logic states that if a person has murdered, then the death penalty is just. In the case of murder, violence and rape, the victim is another person. Still there can be outrage for a heinous crime and today despite being in the 21st century, mob mentality and violence still can take over. This is not heart thinking in my opinion. It is a disproportionately emotional response in heat of response to instigative speech. Mobs e.g in the Bollywood movie "Kai po che", based on the Gujarat riots, inflict mindless violence.

What about pleasure seeking taken to the extreme - destructive alcoholism, masturbation and addiction to pornography? If it does not affect another person, is it okay? As in the earlier stated case of emotional responses, people get a dopamine rush. Just like emotions can carry a person to do things they regret later, in the same way, addictions can cloud the intellect. We need to avoid taking hasty actions in the heat of the moment. Objectively, a person reduces themselves by indulging in these addictions. We become slaves of our passions and end up letting our animal instincts take over.

Finally, heart thinking involves understanding that we as humans are social - made to love and be loved. Look at all the popular songs and movies around the world. Whether in India or the Middle-East or Hollywood, love is celebrated. Here again we must understand that love is beyond emotion, though emotion is part of it. We can experience righteous anger - a correct emotional response to an objectively wrong action. But the emotion by itself doesn't make the response justified. Because we can end up like a wild horse which has no direction if we let emotions cloud our intellect and will.

Could it be that the universal acceptance of love in our cultures reflects the image in which we are created? As the moon reflects the rays of the sun, could we feel compelled to give and receive love because that desire comes from the source of Love?

Indeed, God is love and he who lives in love lives in God and God lives in him.

God made us in his image, in the image of love, He made us,

God took on flesh and became man, because God is Love,

God sacrificed himself for us, so that we could be free to love.

Besides being love, God is also truth. While God can be known through our minds and logic, looking inward, we know that parental love we receive is a reflection of a greater Love. Anyone who denies their inner nature, their thoughts and desires, is ignoring the internal data at their own peril. While bright Christian thinkers like Augustine, Aquinas, C.S Lewis have presented solid logical arguments for the existence of God, we know from internal data, that not all have equally sharp intellect. Would a God of intellectuals be as great as a God of all? I think not, and God is accessible to all people through multiple channels. Just like a blind man can listen to a movie and a deaf man can watch the visuals with subtitles, God is accessible to both the mind, intellect and interior senses like faith and emotions. While the mind can and does help us know truth, we must not dismiss religion just because it speaks to people through non-intellectual channels as well. Faith is not a lesser channel to know truth because it is non-rational. Let us be wholesome people growing our minds and hearts. The future of humanity depends on it.

Nice guys and Jesus

Was Jesus "nice"? Proponents would say he had compassion on people: fed them by multiplying loaves and fish, healed sick, raised the dead to life and we cannot but agree He did all these. But was he just a nice guy? Consider the cleansing of the temple. Christ was filled with zeal for God's house and made a whip of cords to drive out the money changers, saying - my house would be a house of prayer, but you have made it a den of robbers. What does this tell us about Jesus? Was this an aberration in his character?

Certainly not! Jesus did this out of love. How so? Because love is beyond kindness! Being just a nice person on some occasions doesn't work. Jesus stood for something and was willing to be disagreeable. In fact the Word of God tells us His action was immediately taken offense at by the temple priests, who plotted to kill him. My personal thoughts on this action of Christ was for the sake of the innocents who Jesus wanted to be able to come to the Lord and meet with God in the temple.

For me, this applies both to place of worship and the home. Christ has a burning love for innocents as he said “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” How zealous are we about the sanctity of our churches? What example do we set for our little ones, of reverence for the Real Presence? We are called to battle not flesh and blood, but the forces of evil, starting with ourselves. When we bow and genuflect, when we receive Christ in Communion with the respect due to the king of kings and Lord of lords, we join in Christ's battle, directing our zeal for His kingdom at the mastery of our own flesh and bodies. In doing so not only do we worship God and sanctify ourselves, but also witness to children and people around. We help in the work of salvation and sanctification.

How about the other church - the home - the domestic church? How zealous are we, to nurture our little ones, our children in the virtues? Today we have many bright and brilliant minds, but spiritual dwarfs. The world has tried and failed, focusing just on knowledge and skills. How passionate are we to educate our kids to build not only their IQ but EQ (Emotional Quotient) and SQ (Spiritual Quotient)? Do we take ownership and responsibility for their formation in virtue and Christian living? On the home front, as a father of four, I see the promise I made to raise children in the faith is incredibly important and cannot be understated, especially in today's culture. Why do we have so many delinquents, suicidal, depressed young people unable to get out of the vicious cycle when facing the hurdles of life? Because we as a society listened to the lies of the modern dream of success - a false promise of fathers who work hard and provide for their children, but at the cost of the paternal guidance every human being has the right to receive.

We have allowed generations of children grow into men and women who can't handle failure. Because we scoffed at fathers when they corrected their children. We accused fathers of harshness and lack of love, when they wanted to raise them to be able to stand on their own. We have failed to see the weeping hearts of fathers because we couldn't see their faces wet with tears. What will we answer to our Lord when we meet him about how our society taught children to think one parent loves them while the other doesn't. How many more lives must be ruined before we realise that every child has a right to both their mothers and fathers love?

Finally, as a Catholic prayer warrior, I would fail in my duty if I didn't talk about the darker side of the undermining of fathers in our society. We owe our very being and existence to our Creator God, our heavenly Father. The proper name of God is Father, and this is not physical, because God is eternal - beyond space-time. The Catechism teaches:

By calling God “Father”, the language of faith indicates two main things: that God is the first origin of everything and transcendent authority; and that he is at the same time goodness and loving care for all his children. - CCC 239

God did not merely choose to reveal Himself as Father. Rather, He is Father by nature, in two respects: through the eternal generation of the Son in the Holy Trinity, and in His act of creating, especially the creation of those creatures that are “in his image” (see Gen. 1:26). Therefore, human fatherhood is best viewed as a partaking in the Divine Fatherhood of God, one that, by God’s design, is most apt for understanding Divine Fatherhood.

The use of the term “Father,” therefore, is not to be viewed as a concession to the patriarchal culture of the time, but as revealing the very nature of God.

In undermining fathers, our society is allowing the Evil one to sever children from the embrace of our heavenly Father. It's high time we opened our eyes to the downward spiral our children will be headed, unless we act with all urgency and focus on raising children holy and pleasing to God. As in the movie series, Rocky Balboa tells his son to stop whining and stop giving excuses, but bounce back from the hits of life he receives. Let us apply this lesson spiritually and give our children true love, both the nurturing love of a mother and the strong, firm, yet equally essential love of a father, so that they may be able to stand up and live lives worth living, and fulfil the purpose for which they were born.

The Divine Programmer

The scan report was clear "hydrocephalus due to aqueductal stenosis". The situation was begging the natural questions, what, how, why? On the one hand our human limitation is to be concerned and explore the natural options and courses of action and none of those were very promising. On the other hand, as a believer and intercessor I knew something more was needed and recognized that such a situation called for us to go down on our knees in prayer.

There is a story in the Gospel of John chapter 9, where Jesus meets a man born blind. His disciples ask him why this man was born blind, was it because he sinned or his parents? Then Jesus replies, neither this man nor his parents sinned, but so that the works of God may be displayed in him. For us as a couple, this would be an opportunity to trust God and allow him to glorify His name. But at a deeper level, it was an opportunity to us for self-examination. What is our attitude to children? Do we accept children unconditionally as a gift from God our heavenly father or do we take for granted the life that God is placing in our care?

This situation brought us to challenge our faith. I felt like Abraham when he was called to offer his only son, Isaac as a sacrifice to God. We resolved to adopt and attitude of faith and surrender in this situation. Faith as a child in our heavenly Father, knowing how if I as a father had a child who needed something, I would be pleased that my child trusts me enough to ask for that need. Surrender to trust God totally in what he wanted to do and would do. The doctors and our own research told us that depending on the quantity of fluid, the child can have pressure in the brain preventing normal growth of tissue.

I needed no reminder because I was already aware. I had a few times earlier visited some differently-abled children's homes and met orphaned children with this condition. In this context, we would like to think that we wouldn't abandon such children. Here was a situation not about abandoning, because that is not an option, but in our hearts accept with the same joy and gratitude the child that God places in our lives. Yet thinking of the kind of suffering and hardship that may be ahead on the road for the child we pleaded with God and shared the prayer intention knowing that many in our community were united with us in our prayer. I thought "God, these children will be born into some family. Instead of letting them be born into families which won't accept them, if you want it to be born into ours, we are open, let your will be done."

Every morning after we said the guardian angel prayer, besides blessing my daughters Sancia and Tanya, I placed my hand over my wife Seema and also over the womb and prayed the Aaronic blessing, and also this prayer "May the life of Christ in all its fullness flow in you". While I prayed and blessed them I was mindful of the power of the life of Christ and the power of those words. When it was time for the next scan, we approached it with faith and expectation.

Two months after the 5th month scans (we did a confirmation scan after the initial scan), due to COVID19, I was not allowed in the scan facility and was waiting in the basement. I started praying and we had already sent prayer requests in our household group. When I called Seema sometime into when I thought the scan may be almost through, she told me the scan doctor was flummoxed by what he saw and size of the ventricles had actually reduced. There was no explanation how this is possible. We know as believers that when the natural can't explain then only the supernatural it has to be. Since then my heart sings the song "I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever"

We all know how from the moment of conception, the fetus continuously and rapidly grows. Even Sancia our three-year-old elder daughter can now explain how the baby grows in the womb. Considering that the cells only grow and never shrink, and that the ventricle size actually reduced, I knew that the only possibility, however far-fetched, was that the fluid quantity in the brain somehow reduced in the womb itself. Come June 18th, I was waiting outside the operation theater for delivery. when they brought him out I saw a normal looking boy, praise be to God. The next day we did a MRI scan and consulted doctors with the report. They said there is no need for surgery. The fluid in the brain is still present but in small quantity and not at high pressure so that the brain tissue growth is normal. Compared with what we were prepared for, this has been a complete and powerful miracle in our lives. Recalling back the confirmation scan we did in Srinivasa diagnostic center, considered the best ultrasound scan center in Bangalore. The scan doctor then said to my wife "not good" and gave a very bleak picture and dismal outlook to the situation.

As a software engineer, I often think of difficult technology problems in terms of God's acts of creation and redemption. How much we are amazed by technology, the man made wonders of the concrete urban environment we live in. Yet how great is God's own works, the universe, the laws of physics and the natural order. The way life grows from a single cell, the zygote which has the master program of God, our divine programmer. Each and every cell in our body has the instructions on how every part of the body should be. We live in the age of artificial intelligence and machine learning but we have never come close to creating a single intelligent self-replicating program that grows itself from a tiny cell, and we probably never will. Even whatever marvels we accomplish as humans, we  achieve it with the faculties which God created in us. Let's think for a moment which is a greater miracle, God healing the child in the womb or the human person. Surely for a software engineer its not too difficult to fix a bug in a software he has written. A doctor may find it challenging to treat a patient and bring him back to health, but what would a doctor say if asked to create a cell which can grow into a human person?

Psalm 8 composed by David says:

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.

You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet:

My prayer now is "who am I God that you have done so much for me and for my family. Let these your works remind me of your love for me and help me to live my life worthy of being your son." This is my wish for myself and for you all, that we praise and glorify God for his amazing works and that we live our lives in a manner worthy of his sons and daughters. God bless you all, Amen.

UPDATE: It's 1½ years since the above post and our little Reuel has regular vision and physio therapy. With the former his binocular vision has been greatly corrected. Earlier he couldn't grasp objects today he's can't stop grabbing toys and examining them. He also communicates beautifully with the sweetest voice calling his dad, mum and siblings too and much more. We hope with physiotherapy he will stand on his feet soon.

Spiritual Parenthood and the Sacraments

God has blessed me with two little angels, Sancia and Tanya. As a father, the most intimate bonding time with them has been funnily enough through changing diapers and for my wife perhaps it is feeding them. In my experience as a parent, kids can make a complete mess till they learn to use the bathroom and even then it takes them time to learn not to dirty their diapers or clothes. In our spiritual lives, that's what sin does and some of the saints even had the spiritual gift to smell sin on people. So just as babies need a mother or father when they get dirty, we need mother Church when we sin.

In the sacrament of Reconciliation, we go with the stench of sin on us and as a good parent would always welcome the child in such a situation and take them to be washed and cleansed, so also in this Sacrament, the priest who represents God and man listens to our sins and says "through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen". The priest is using the authority given by Christ when he appears to the Apostles on Pentecost and told them "receive the Holy Spirit. Whose ever sins you forgive, they shall be forgiven and whose ever sins you retain, they shall be retained". In this sense, Confession is a spiritual diaper change where God our Father cleanses us and makes us clean and gives us the grace to avoid sin and be holy. However in my opinion, the costly price of this Mercy is the Blood of Christ, the holy Lamb of God. Yet, we must realize that no matter how many times we sin, Confession is free and limitless because the Mercy of God is free and limitless. Just as a parent will not charge the child money for a diaper change (imagine how crazy that would be!), and do it as many times and as frequently as needed, so also the Church will freely dispense of the Mercy and Grace of God in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Breast milk is actually produced by the alveoli taking nutrients from the blood of the mother. So this is paralleled by Christ giving himself to the Church by giving his Body and Blood for us. Pelicans are known in times of famine to feed their young by ripping their own flesh and feeding their flesh and blood. Thus they have become a symbol of the Eucharist. In this context, Eucharist gives us spiritual nourishment like nothing in the world can give. While breast milk and regular food which we as parents give our children is nutritious, there is only one food that can make us live forever, and that food is the Eucharist. I have found in my own spiritual life, that when I have been frequent to the Eucharist, I am much fortified in my challenge to avoid sin and live out holiness in my life. Hence Eucharist is considered the source and summit of Christian life. No wonder then, that I consider my time and effort in releasing the Mass Finder app a labour of love to do what is in my power to bring people closer to God through the Eucharist.

One of the great blessings in the spiritual life of our family is being part of a community of like minded people. All this started when Sancia was about 3 months old and my wife was at that time in her mothers house (an Indian tradition) and I wanted to make the right spiritual start to our now 3-member family and felt we both badly needed time together to reflect and meditate since the last few months was an arduous journey in our relationship as recently married couple. So we attended a retreat that immensely blessed both of us and enabled us to clear lots of issues with a firm resolution to turn a new leaf and work more towards making our family as God wants us to be. Now we are part of Couples for Christ, India where we get regular spiritual nourishment and opportunity to live our lives deeper in the Gospel.

I used to teach Sunday school catechism some years back and this year, since my little one is a few months old and little less dependent than she was, I decided it was time I answered the desire to share the faith through catechism again. When my kids were baptized, we became more fully conscious of our role and responsibility to bring them up in the faith. I feel that since I have a love for the faith and since that love has inspired me to study it over the years, I have almost an obligation to answer this call and inspire the young people in my charge to love their faith and grow deeper in it. Thus I share in a spiritual parenthood of the Church and of the Father who wants to all people them to himself. So there you have it, so many parallels which show how beautifully we can relate our Catholic faith to our own family relationships and especially to parenthood in a spiritual sense. That's why when Jesus was on the cross in his most important moments, he said "Woman, behold your son and son behold your mother" thus giving his mother Mary as a Mother for us all. Many of the thoughts for this article came while listening and reflecting on Mother Mary in this video, which I highly recommend:

Mass Finder: find nearby churches and services

On Pentecost this year, I released the Mass Finder app on the Android playstore along with the more generic Faith Finder app. Initially the app had about a hundred churches mainly in Bangalore and few others in India. But once the app got released I got requests from different places starting with Sydney, Australia and the Bay Area, California. Checking the search query logs, I found requests from other places including the Philippines and Singapore. To serve our users, the database grew and now we have over 17,000+ churches in 400+ cities in 200+ countries. Most of the common fields are based on the Google places search results including the GPS lat, long co-ordinates, the City, State/Province and Country, the Rating and the number of Reviewers.

If you do a "Find a Church" query, you get a list of nearby churches within a radius of 5-20 kilometers (you can select the range) sorted by proximity and you can click on the Car icon to allow Google maps to take you there (we do not believe in re-inventing the wheel and since G-maps does this job very well, we just allow it to help you get there). If you click on the > link, you get more information about the church, including Address, Contact details and Mass timings. These fields may or may not be present and we are on an ongoing mission to fill in these gaps. Here are the features planned in the upcoming releases:

1. On first use, collect preferences and provide quick help
2. Add Adoration and Confession schedules and provide "Find a Confession/Adoration" service
3. Provide the days Mass readings text or audio to help users prepare for the Mass and if it is in a different language they can follow the readings this way
4. If when a "Find a Church" or "Find a Mass" search is performed, there are no results in the vicinity and the church data is not present, inform the user and provide an option to probe using google to find nearby catholic churches. These may be added to the database after verification
5. Enable search of churches at different location from current GPS co-ordinates
6. Provide points and badges for volunteer contributors and promote when they earn badges
7. Integrate google sign in so that volunteers can just use their google id and not have to remember a separate username/password for their volunteer account
8. Provide a language list selection in preferences (currently single language is available)
9. Provide church verification and mass schedule verification option and also feature to report inaccuracies and out of date information

Faith Finder is the sibling of Mass Finder and is meant to be open to all Christians so that all can find their churches and join the services in their respective churches.

Many people helped bring this to where it is now, but especially I want to thank my wife and family for their support and encouragement and facilitating me to work on the app. I want to thank my friend Snehan Solomon for his initial contribution to the codebase and Kevin Rodrigues for early testing and feedback, Gideon Santiago for designing a beautiful logo and icon for the app (you can find Gideon's profile and work here: https://gidsant.myportfolio.com/work) and Amanda for sharing lots of data about churches and Mass timings in Bangalore. With the continued collaboration of our growing community of volunteers and helpers, I'm sure we will be able to improve the database and the app and bring many more people closer to God through the Church.